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July’s Most Average Moments

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Death Grips

Boys and girls, July was friggin' rough. It was such a goddamned bitch slap of low points that we barely noticed Danny Brown collaborating with ICP. We were caught up in a whirlwind of hands, reddening our cheeks with Spotify vs. Atoms For Peace vs. Festivals (dragged in like a patsy), racist athletes at Kenny Chesney hoedowns, crowd-sourcing major labels, and dick pics—so many goddamn dick pics! But each time bad news wafted into the offices, we got out the darts, paced off the regulation distance from the dartboard and took aim at this picture of Death Grips with Beyonce and Robert Pattinson.

This is Death Grips. The band with a punk ethos of art as infiltration, but when you look back on the damage it's just paparazzi shots with celebrities, room service tabs at the Chateau Marmont, and albums on major labels that expect the working class to fund vinyl production. We're a little confused on the difference between Death Grips and Robin Thicke.

It's moments like these when you ponder, “what would Ian Mackaye think?”, only to learn he can't keep up the fight either. Apparently, people love Minor Threat so much that when Ian Mackaye calls to request a cease & desist of bootleg Minor Threat shirts they yell at him. His own crazed fans won't help him preserve the sanctity of his art's message. If Ian Mackaye said ehhfuckit to $28 Minor Threat t-shirts in Urban Outfitters, then is it over?