Search

Nine things I hate about Trader Joe's

Post Author:

1.

Having to decide between raw cheddar and grass fed cheddar. Hmmm… This one's from grass-fed cows… but this one's made with raw milk… but this one's from grass-fed cows… but this one's made with raw milk…

2.


I don't know when kids officially gave up walking and had to have wheels on their shoes or scoot around on these plastic things, but I hate it. I hate it ten times more when they're whizzing around me and I'm just trying to find an avocado that doesn't suck.

3.

I had one of these about two years ago while I was drunk and the taste still kinda haunts me. I don't know what they have to do to carrots and potatoes to make them taste like this, but Mother Gaia cries for it.

4.

Ew.. Cheetos are for poor people. And these don't have preservatives so they're good for you.

5.

I care about my body and the environment so I'm buying grass-fed beef from two separate continents, neither of which being the one that I actually fucking live on.

6.

You can get your kefir with or without added sugar, but you can't get it without the healthy fat skimmed off.

7.

Are you looking for regular coconut milk? They don't make any. The ingredients for Light Coconut Milk are: coconut milk, water. I suppose it's still cheaper to buy two of these and dump out the water than it would be to buy a can of Thai Kitchen.

8.

That blank space on the shelf where there is supposed to be coconut oil but there isn't. The guy in the Hawaiian shirt says they'll get more in next week. I'm willing to pay the dollar more at Whole Foods for peace of mind.

9.

I guess it should go without saying that I hate waiting in line for 35 minutes just to buy a beer and bar of dark chocolate to sneak into Hunger Games.