I figured out the pun right as the last notes faded away from listening to this song. The entire time, I was thinking “OK, crap, you don't know much about sports. Maybe one of our lovely Jock Strap columnists should tackle this one? What does this song have to do with sports? How would you know if they were talking about sports or not?” I listened intently to the lyrics, trying to spot something like “He throws a pass over the 30 yard-line/The football tackle tackle it's first down time” or something really literal like that, talking about America's most-beloved beef-fest. The slow guitar line faded in, and I concentrated. The vocals started, “ooooh, oooh/ You tell me you don't like me baby…so I get…” and then there was a keyboard squeal.
“WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH FOOTBALL?” My brain was screaming. “I AM OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!”
And then…wait…he's not talking about sports at all!
He's talking about smoking a super huge bowl 29 times. Hitting that weed. Toking the blessed herb. Doing the California Cakewalk. Pumping the pleasant pitch. Marrying that marijuana. Jumping up and down on an herb trampoline. Filling the tank with sour diesel. Punching the purple dragon in the mouth. Jacking a joint with John and Joe. Getting lean with Jimmy Dean. Kramming in that komfort kush.
Boy, am I dense.
Heavy Hawaii's 7-inch of the same name is out now on Art Fag Recordings, limited to an edition of 500. Listen now and grab it before everyone bogarts that shit.