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The 2014 World Series Drinking Game

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We get it, you’re too old for a drinking game. Plus you have a job and explaining to your boss why you’re bent over the trash can in your cubicle is not a good look. But hey, it’s the World Series! The kind that only happens once every 29 years, so might as well celebrate it now. Who knows what baseball will be like the next time the Royals return to the postseason?

Take a shot when:

Eric Hosmer appears on your screen

Eric Hosmer

A frequent favorite of the broadcasters, Hosmer loves to be mic’d up for coverage and does a move that looks like he’s putting on a seat belt every time he gets a hit.

Yes, even a single.

Salvador Perez gets hit by a bat

The Royals catcher is 6’3” and has been getting whalloped all post-season. Taking errant pitches is part of the game for a catcher, but Perez gets hit by swinging bats far too much for comfort. Take a swig and hope it didn’t result in a concussion.

Lorde’s “Royals” is mentioned / played during the telecast

lorde kansas city royals

San Francisco might have banned it, but you can bet FOX has it lined up on repeat for every Royals highlight.

The low-win total is announced

The Royals won 89 games and the Giants won 88, bringing the total wins to be the fourth-fewest combined wins in World Series history.

Announcers mention it’s the Giants third World Series appearance in five years

You can’t get called a dynasty when you’re only good every other year.

Lorenzo Cain does something awesome

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The Royals centerfielder has a .353 batting average with four RBIs and two stolen bases this post season, but his play in the outfield is wicked and aggressive. He’ll usually only pull out a couple of gems a game though, so this portion won’t get you too wrecked.

A pudgy guy who doesn’t look like an athlete gets a hit

The Giants have Pablo Sandoval and the Royals have Billy Butler. Both of them look like they should be waiting in line for a beer at the stadium rather than hitting, but Sandoval has a playoff batting average of .326 and Butler has had five RBIs including two doubles.

Shotgun a whole beer when:

The announcers get basic facts of the team wrong

Whether it is pitchers position in the bullpen or talk about “team leaders,” the misinformation you’ll hear from guys that barely called any baseball games all year is enough to draw the blinds the next morning.

Announcers try to find a way to mention Derek Jeter

derek-jeter

It’s only out of Re2pect, right guys?

Neither team gets a hit until the 8th inning

Both of these teams were late winners in the playoffs, so to stave off the slowness of the opening innings by nursing yourself late at night.

Mike Moustakas makes a bonkers catch

The Royals 3rd baseman has put on a defensive clinic this postseason. He’ll find a way to rob you in foul territory if he gets bored robbing you in the infield.

Someone hits a home run off Madison Bumgarner

Getting the nod for pitching the first game of the series, Bumgarner has had a playoff ERA of 1.42. He has 28 strikeouts, 19 runs and six runs in four games. And one of those happened to be a complete game shutout. The Royals are already playing small ball, but against Bumgarner, they might need some bigger bats.

madison-bumbgarner