Enough prognosticating, the 2015 NFL season is finally under way. Though a cloud still hangs around the league what with the Spygate/Deflategate scandal still milling around, actual games had to be played. The Seahawks still couldn’t shake off poor execution, the first round picks did first round pick things and we were offered a glimpse at a new Eli face.
The Good
The Spectacle
More like Mari-WHOA-ta amiright? The second overall pick of the 2015 draft went 13 for 16, with four touchdowns and no interceptions in his debut. He was pulled after the third quarter while the Titans took apart the Buccaneers, and made the guy who was taken No. 1 look pretty awful.
Detournement
San Francisco 49ers defense: After all the crap that was given to the San Francisco 49ers this offseason for booting their coach and having half their defense retire, they still managed to stick it to the Minnesota Vikings and child-testicle-switching Adrian Peterson pretty fierce. The Niners kept Vikings QB Teddy Bridgewater on his heels, sacking him five times and hitting him eight more times and all but rendered Peterson useless, only allowing 31 yards in his return following a season-long banishment. Minnesota is still a young team, but Peterson was supposed to have his redemption season. The Niners showed it may be a slow return.
Psychogeography
Brandon Marshall grabbed a pick back, saving the embarrassment of quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick as the Jets put the LOL back in Cleveland.
omg so Browns, also Brandon Marshall is awesome https://t.co/1sWPziFvJC
— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) September 13, 2015
The Bad
The Spectacle
You ever see a man turn into a helicopter?
Josh McCown saw a lane.
Dove towards the end zone…FUMBLE! #CLEvsNYJ http://t.co/LDWLrhm82t
— NFL (@NFL) September 13, 2015
Detournement
The Chip Kelly Machine took a backseat on the early game Monday night as they were getting walloped by the Atlanta Falcons. 21 points by the Chipsters in the second half kept the game close, but the Jordan Matthews missed catch sealed the game up for the Falcons. And as Julio Jones put up nine receptions for 141 yards and two touchdowns, all Byron Maxwell could do was laugh.
Psychogeography
Eli Manning put on a peak Manning Face performance, forgetting how many time outs the Dallas Cowboys had remaining, Eli told his his running back Rashad Jennings not to score on first or second down to try and milk the clock. After stopping the clock with a pass play on third down, the vital Giants drive ended with only three points, giving Tony Romo and company the chance for a 4th quarter comeback to infuriate all of Giant nation. It did, however, give us this Eli gem of a headline.
The Weekly “This Won’t Happen Again” Award
All of the AFC East had dominating wins in Week 1. The AFC & NFC West all came close with three of their four teams winning Week1 games, but nothing quite beats this oddity.
What to watch Week 2
Buffalo at New England means the unbeaten AFC East stops at Week 2, but this should be a good time.
Dallas at Philadelphia
Seattle at Green Bay
What not to watch Week 2
Denver at Kansas City deserve the mid-week skip because Peyton Manning is still a corpse and the Chiefs still can’t figure out how to throw to wide receivers.
St Louis at Washington
New York Jets at Indianapolis
