The League: Week 7 recap

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woman in the kitchen

Once upon a time, the land of fantasy football was ruled by men. Not men of grand stature mind you; in fact, often weasily, scrawny men, whose ambitions to play football were dashed early by a lack of size and strength. Battling other men of equally diminutive stature in a computer realm became their outlet as wives and girlfriends tended to laundry, or sewing, or whatever women do on Sundays.

Then last week it all came crashing down. My fantasy was grounded in a very hard reality: I lost to my girlfriend. Not only did I lose, I suffered the largest defeat in our league 149 – 94. It was a sad day in my household. So distraught was I, that the idea of posting a recap was too much to bear. I'm sure much to the dismay of you, the reader, but definitely to my girlfriend who repeatedly asked “when are you going to post the fantasy recap?”

But fear not my misogynistic brethren*, for I have seen the mountain top, and it came in a Monday night victory over the first place team. Sure, my girlfriend is still in better position than me, but my testicular fortitude has been restored. At least for one week.

*the views expressed in this fantasy recap are solely the opinion of the author and do not reflect those of Impose

For the first time all year, Eli Manning did something with his worthless self and helped me squeak out a 10 point victory over the unknown guy who is winning our league. Sure, he had to start Nick Foles because he had both QBs on the bench due to injury and the bye, and yeah, his kicker was the second-highest scorer on his team, but we were essentially tied going into the Monday night game with a matchup of Eli vs. Adrian Peterson. The Giants first win couldn't have come at a better time for my beleaguered bunch.

Incidentally, the rest of impose squared off against each other making Week 7 an intersquad matchup between Impose's two head editors. Blake Gillespie and Dayna Evans, a battle of the titans; or at least it would've been had Dayna managed her team at all. Her ability to show absolutely no interest in fantasy football is matched only by Blake's shifty calculating that has left him tied for the best record in the league despite having the third fewest points scored over all. Combine such stealthy strategies, and you end up a game a lot like Impose: no one really knows what they're doing, but eventually someone has to come out on top.

And rounding out the week is the Sang of lore. The tied-for-first-place, boyfriend-beating juggernaut that has not scored less than 130 points in three straight weeks. Bucking all trends, she has shown not only me, but the entire league, the this little titan has come to play. Of course, when you play the Dallas Cownboys of our league and Tony Romo only has one TD and Dez Bryant has none (not to mention Miles Austin didn't play), you have the makings of a slaughter. To be fair, chances are Pete wouldn't have caught up anyway. After all, Sang is the only person in our league who can start someone on the Tampa Bay Bucs and have them be the biggest point getter in the game. Like I said, bucking all trends.

I better find an apron.