Houston: We have a conspiracy theory

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Indian Jewelry may originally have been Swarm of Angels, but this track's saw-tooth synth is the sound of an army of bees descending on Houston at rush hour. Roll up your windows, you Suburban-driving suburbs-dwelling commuter moms, or you're gonna get stung.

Indian Jewelry, “Temporary Famine Ship”

Everything about this track is veiled, distorted, oppressively dense; it mirrors the conspiracy theory waiting patiently in the form of a press release. Here's the letter they provide, an angry denunciation of the… new… Indian Jewelry. (Click here for an enlarged version.)

Indian Jewelry Ted Sands

First, here's a two-line rebuttal that someone decided no one should see:

INDIAN JEWELRY ( see: SWARM/OF/ANGELS, NTX+ELECTRIC, BENZENE LOTION RASH, PERPETUAL WAR PARTY BAND, HONG KONG) are lime-spitting music bitches much scarred by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. We roll deep. Monitor Records imprint WE*ARE*FREE is releasing our new record Spring 2008. Other future plans include IJ TRANSAFRICA, EYELESS in GAZA 2, and slow grooving our way out of the hole.

Evasive, inconclusive. Did the new Indian Jewelry write this, or did some imposter try and bury the scent? Is it the shadowy Ted Sand? That's right, we're on the heels of an ever deepening conspiracy here, and there's no turning back now, because Mr. Ted Sands has a bitchin MySpace page. A quick look around tells us he's married, 35, and has a website called blessedhydra.com. It's a PR company, or a “public works company”. Quote:

We are efforting to abreast ourselves of emerging paradigms and to utilize the new technologies.

New technologies like the internet. This page uses the full power of hyperlinks and jpegs. Creeds on the virtue of pigs, links to pages made when people still used geocities. But the real clincher is the artist's page, which links to the same bands as those on the new Indian Jewelry's band page. What twisted mind has led us through this Mobius Strip? Click on the “Indian Jewelry” link, and this is what you get:

Indian Jewelry lace

I just realized I've had “Temporary Famine Ship” on repeat for the past hour. DAMN YOU TED SANDS.

Indian Jewelry Tour Dates:
18 Houston, TX The Mink
19 Austin, TX Emo's Lounge
21 Tucson, AZ Solar Culture
22 Los Angeles, CA The Echo
23 Santa Cruz, CA The Crepe Place
24 San Francisco, CA Hemlock Tavern
25 Eureka, CA The Little Red
26 Portland, OR Someday Lounge
27 Seattle, WA Sunset Tavern
29 Salt Lake City, UT Urban Lounge
30 Denver, CO Hi-Dive

01 Omaha, NE Slowdown
02 St. Paul, MN Turf Club
03 Chicago, IL The Hideout
04 Pontiac, MI The Pike Room
05 Akron, OH Thursday's
06 Cleveland, OH Beachland Ballroom
07 Pittsburgh, PA Belvedere's
08 New York, NY Cake Shop
09 Hanover, NH Fuel Rocket Club at Dartmouth College
10 Providence, RI AS220
11 New Haven, CT Sundazed @ Bar
12 Philadelphia, PA Johnny Brenda's
14 Washington, DC The Red and the Black
15 Chapel Hill, NC Local 506
16 Knoxville, TN Pilot Light
17 Birmingham, AL Bottle Tree