Worst of CMJ: Adept

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[All photos in this post by Hatnim Lee]

Holy shit, these guys were awesome. Adept is from the Netherlands, which helps to explain the cult-like similarities in their facial features, and maybe their funny cut up t-shirts, though not their propensity to write brainless noise music.

While I'm at pains to describe what five minutes of hyper-low end bass saw-toothing along to two bars of industrial drum machine beats looped indefinitely can do for your sinuses, what I really loved about this band was the temper tantrums they threw to end each song. People can throw the terms “primal” and “rabid” around, but these breakdowns were more “short bus retarded,” and that was what made Adept one of the funniest bands I've ever seen. The singer feigned mic-felatio (repeat: at the end of every song), the keyboardist failed to see his effects pedals hanging precariously from his keyboard as he bashed away at a cymbal (1-2-3-4), the guitarist muted his guitar so as to dance more effectively with said guitar, and the other keyboardist, squealing into a mic, would glance self-consciously at the crowd and wonder what the dudes in his other band, Bonne Apart, were up to at that moment.

Imagine HEALTH but lose any inclinations for melody, levity, humor, or that awesome metal guy they have as a drummer. Adept!